Rose with a Mission

  God brought a lot of things to a head this week and helped me identify lies that I had been believing. Through the classes this week and spending time seeking Him, I found answers.  The lies I had been believing were these: I'm not valuable. I need to get it right all the time. How did these lies play out? I tried to do all the right things so that I would have intimacy with God and other people. But simply checking off a checklist and doing "all the right" things didn't get me the intimacy I so desired. The best times that I had with Jesus happened when I was the most real, open, and vulnerable. Many times it wasn't when I was doing some spiritual activity, but in the normal flow of life He would come in and show me more of Himself. Sometimes it was when I was least put together that I felt like His presence was the strongest. This revelation hurt. I realized that for so long I've been striving to get it right so that I could have intimacy, never realizing

  God is so good. On Sunday I went to church at Christian Community Fellowship. Every Sunday they send a van to pick up YWAMers who don't have cars. It's very kind and I have really enjoyed going to this church.  Then in the afternoon, Marisa and I went to Tyler State Park. It was magical walking through the woods with this dear friend. She gets me on a deep level and keeps pointing me to Jesus. Love you so much, Marisa.  This week's topic has been Biblical Worldview. One of the things I really appreciated about this week was that our speaker Nathan was so clear and calm. He took these big ideas like Biblical Worldview and gave us simple definitions to go on. Example: Worldview - the mental maps by which we navigate life or the lenses by which we view all of life. Biblical Worldview - a worldview that is grounded in the Bible. This week has been so good for helping me to identify some weak spots in my mental maps. Praying and

  In some ways this has been the most mixed week since I arrived.  Last weekend I found out that a dear couple from my home Church was battling covid. It was a heavy burden that I carried into Monday.  Also over the weekend I said something that hurt one of my friends and was dealing with feeling like a failure.  That coupled with a new week of teaching, feeling like I didn't get much done over the weekend, some other hard things thrown into the mix and I was overwhelmed. I felt like I couldn't even process through one thing before something else would hit me.  On Monday nights we have class worship in the evening. As they started singing I felt awful. I couldn't sing because I was so overwhelmed by what was going on. I couldn't even stand up. In the middle of my overwhelmed brain, God spoke. "Go over to a staff member and ask for prayer." After a moments hesitation I crawled over and asked a staff member for prayer. She prayed for me and by the end of it I wa

  Sit back and relax. I have so much to tell you. At the beginning of the week I was a little nervous because this week's topic was relationships. In recent years when this subject has come up my insides start to turn. Why? Growing up I had a great Godly example of marriage from my parents. It's something that from an early age I wanted to duplicate. I wanted a life partner and home of my own. Sadly that desire got twisted into an idol that led me to make some very bad decisions. I thank God that He saved me from what would have been a terrible marriage and that He healed me from the pain. However the scars still remain. This week as I sat in class I had such mixed emotions. Monday and Tuesday we talked about the value of human life and how we are image bearers of the King. While not new information, it's changing the way I approach people. I get to approach them as having value and draw out the image of God in them.  Wednesday and Thursday we talked about marriage and sexu

  This last week was one of the best weeks of my life. I made some of the biggest strides in walking in freedom in Christ ever. We were talking about identity. Whew a weighty topic and such an important one.  While telling stories of his own identity struggles Troy Sherman shared Biblical truth about God, our identity, life, and everything inbetween. I laughed so hard and learned so much. I learned that being different from those around me isn't bad. My story still has power. My testimony of walking with the Lord is valuable because it's what we have walked together. He wants to pursue a deeper relationship with me. Also I was able to identify lies that I'd believed about me and my identity. It freed me to process it with God and those around me. I'm more comfortable in my own skin and with my story. It's been so good. Technology free week was good. I did miss my audio Bible, my music and being connected with friends and family, but I did enjoy the extra time talkin