A Big Update
At the beginning of the week I was a little nervous because this week's topic was relationships. In recent years when this subject has come up my insides start to turn. Why? Growing up I had a great Godly example of marriage from my parents. It's something that from an early age I wanted to duplicate. I wanted a life partner and home of my own. Sadly that desire got twisted into an idol that led me to make some very bad decisions. I thank God that He saved me from what would have been a terrible marriage and that He healed me from the pain. However the scars still remain. This week as I sat in class I had such mixed emotions. Monday and Tuesday we talked about the value of human life and how we are image bearers of the King. While not new information, it's changing the way I approach people. I get to approach them as having value and draw out the image of God in them.
Wednesday and Thursday we talked about marriage and sexual purity. I was an emotional mess. Internally I'm thinking, Yes, I agree. This is all really good. I believe all of this is true. I've seen how a good marriage can work. I've also seen the sad effects of sin at work in this area. I know (in my head) how to have a healthy relationship. I want to be in a relationship but... And there in lies the struggle. For years I've desired marriage, but for purposes that God only knows, I'm not married. For years I've been single and there are times that that reality is harder to deal with than others. This week it was harder.
I thank God for Marisa. She saw I was struggling and lovingly drew me out. She wouldn't take silence for an answer and gave me space to share my heart. There were tears. But Cassie, (a sweet staff member) Marisa, and our lecturer this week helped me. They pointed me to the truth that God loves me so much, His plan can always be trusted, the pain is real, keep running to Jesus in the middle of it all, and I'm a whole person. It freed me to feel the pain so that I can take it to Jesus. Praise God!
On Friday we covered reconciliation and forgiveness. It was really good.
This week Marisa and I have had so many good talks. She's been consistently encouraging, comforting, and challenging me. She champions me. How can someone become so precious to you in just 6 weeks? I don't know, but she is.
I've also become closer to my roommate Kat. She let me talk for an hour and a half on Thursday. She mainly listened, she encouraged, she's awesome.
I also found out more about my Panama trip.
We are staying in a town called Boquete, Panama
We will be doing a lot of different types of ministry. Food distribution, kid ministry, dramas, and more.
Boquete stays at about 75 degrees year round.
We are going during the rainy season.
It's known as the city of rainbows.
It's known for having the best coffee in all of Panama.
They are on central time.
I'm so excited to be going there.
Big fundraising update!
As of right now, I am fully funded to go to Panama! I wish I could give each person that donated a standing ovation right now. Ya'll made this moment possible!
From now on any donations I receive will either go to my teammates or to the next adventure. For weeks now I have been praying and thinking about coming back in January for the School Of Evangelism. If God provides the funds, I'd like to take the next level of training. It's also a prerequisite to being on staff. Since being here it's a dream that has been stirring in my heart. I love it here and would love to stay and serve long term. So if you have a preference when making donations, please specify.
Ultimately God is so good and I see Him at work in a million ways. The adventure keeps getting better. Life with Jesus is amazing.
Living the dream, Rose
P. S. We just completed week 6. We are halfway through lecture phase!
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