Healing A Blister, Healing My Heart

 

It started on Saturday night. I had been feeling some pain in my foot, but I brushed it off. By Sunday night the pain was bad and a white bump had appeared. Thinking it was a wort, I went to bed thinking I would deal with it the next day. I woke up that night in bad pain. By morning it had grown and it was hurting to walk. After consulting with some of the nurses here, they recommended that I get a doctor to look at it. Since I don't have insurance this was problematic because I wasn't sure where to go or what to do. Thankfully God wasn't surprised by my foot problem. He sent one of my classmates to help me. She stepped in and got me an appointment with her foot doctor the next day. Talk about God working to provide for your needs!

The next day with bad pain and a growing bump on my heel, I walked into see the doctor. He was quickly able to diagnosed it as an infected blood blister, cut a chunk out of my heel, clean it out, and give me care instructions. His assistant kept reminding me to breathe. I laughed at myself later. As if somehow that will make the pain less, but when we are in the middle of pain sometimes we don't think clearly. 

While I have been dealing with a physical wound, it brought up some wounds on my heart that God wants to heal. Lies that have been beating up my heart for years. 

The Lie: You're a burden if you need help. 

The Truth: We are human and we all need help sometimes. This is why we have each other. 

The Lie: You don't have any value because you're not serving. 

The Truth: God created me with inherent value and then He chose me. My value comes from who's I am not what I do. 

The Lie: You're a mess. 

The Truth: I feel like a mess and need to heal, but it's not who I am. 

The Lie: I'm too weak and broken to do anything. 

The Truth: In Christ I can do all things that He calls me to. 

The Lie: I need to repay everyone who is helping me. 

The Truth: We are a team and they have loved the chance to help me.

This week God has been hard core fighting these lies in me. Sometimes I get tired of the struggle, but I have a strong defender. He hasn't let go of me. He's walking with me in the process of healing. 

In the middle of all of this I have a long list of things to be grateful for. A classmate who goes to bat for you and gets you an appointment with her doctor, Tiffany who took me out for coffee and has spoken truth to me, the classmate who picked up my work duty, the classmate who helped walk me to the car when I was feeling unsteady on my feet, the people who have prayed for me, my mentor encouraging and challenging me, my friends that have encouraged me via text, antibiotics, probiotics, that this happened here and not in Africa, a full night's sleep, God's comfort, time to rest, and so much more. 

This weeks topic in class was missions and the local church. A lot of it was focused on the state of the church right now and what part God is calling us to play. I realized how much of the worlds philosophy had seeped into my own thinking. Praying through how to move forward God's way. I was moved by our teachers honesty, humility, and willingness to talk about anything and everything. Class was really good this week. 

I also have a huge praise report! My plane flight to Tanzania has been paid for! Thank you to everyone who gave so we could make it this far. Now I need your help to get the rest of the way to Tanzania. Please pray about supporting me as I live out the gospel in Tanzania. 

Today I'm attending the graduation of a DTS class. Being on the other side and walking through another school, it's a whole different feeling to see people behind you and know some of what they are going through. I want to celebrate what God has done in them the same way that people celebrated my journey when I graduated. 

Well, I need to go. I've got laundry to put up and things to do. I will catch up with you more next week. 

Walking with a Limp, Rose