Heartbreak & Hope

 

How can heartbreak and hope exist together? Let's find out how. 

On Saturday we went and helped out with a ministry called If Not For Grace and the Salvation Army in Atlantic City to provide meals, showers, toiletries, and clothing for the homeless. We shared our testimonies and I sang some songs. It was a privilege to work alongside men and women who have so much of God's heart for the homeless. They treated everyone with such respect and cared for them with God's love.

From there we headed to Ocean City, New Jersey. A Church there had asked us to give a message for their Sunday school group of middle school students. Joy (a classmate) and I were asked to lead this time. With only about an hour on Saturday afternoon to run through ideas, I was amazed by how God showed up. As we sat down together God brought identity as a theme to Joy's mind. We contrasted what people said about Jesus versus what God said about Jesus and how God is the ultimate authority on our identity. Joy did an amazing job teaching on this.

Sunday afternoon was pretty chill. We settled into the dorms and got things organized for the week.

The next few days were more relaxed. We helped out with a high school youth group and had some team meetings. There was also a lot of free time which enabled me to take a deep breath in Jesus.

Wednesday was heartbreaking. We went to Kensington, outside of Philadelphia. This area is a drug community. People can get hard drugs easily and the Police don't do anything about it. As we went out in teams with a ministry called The Rock we saw people using drugs in broad daylight and people strung out on drugs. What broke my heart was talking to a woman that I will call Emma. She's a mom with three kids. A group of us talked to her for a while. She doesn't believe in absolute truth and it seemed like reason fell on deaf ears. I tried to learn more of her story. She believes that withdrawals would be worse than staying on the drugs and being separated from her kids. It broke my heart to think of the kids without a mom and the pain that is causing all of them. I cried some of God's tears over this mom and her kids. I want to pray for them that God would comfort this family and give Emma a breakthrough. 

Photo credit: Marisa Hagen  

For the next few days, what I had seen in Kensington weighed heavy on my heart. The pain and hopelessness broke my heart. I came to God about what I saw. Where was God in the middle of so much darkness? He reminded me, "The sun still shines even in Kensington. I cry over them. I know their names. I have put My servants there to share My hope. It is not hopeless."

As hard as it was to process through these things, I'm so thankful that The Holy Spirit is working in Kensington. They are choosing death, but if they turn to God He's right there to offer hope and new life. Through conversations and spending time with Jesus, my heart is being filled with hope. 

Marisa has been a great encouragement to me. When I was struggling with feeling like I wasn't doing enough, she encouraged me to stay close in my relationship with Jesus and I would know from that what to do. I wasn't going to miss out on His best because the best is always closer relationship with Him. She's awesome! 

This weekend our team is speaking at 7 church services. I've been asked to speak at the Sunday school junior high class. I'm both excited and nervous about that. Please pray that God would give me words for these kids and that I would only speak what He gives me. 

And on Monday we fly out to Panama! I'm so excited about that.

We did find out that our team is going to have to quarantine for the first 3 days we are there. While this wasn't the ideal plan, I really appreciate the attitude of our leaders. They are praying that we can use the time to pray, do team building, and get our hearts right before the Lord. Please join us in prayer that everyone will be kept safe from the coronavirus and that God would use this time mightily in our teams lives. If I could add a prayer that God would replenish what we had to take out of the emergency fund. 

God is definitely growing me and I'm so thankful for His presence with me and for the people He's had come alongside me. 

Being Filled With Hope, Rose