Conquering Fear
Saturday and Sunday were pretty chill. We got familiar with the base and had orientation.
I loved meeting the staff and the other YWAM teams that are here. It was so neat to hear how God called each person here. I met a girl from California who became a believer just before she came to DTS. Her name is Lauren and I love her excitement in her new faith. It reminds me of the joy we have in Christ. I've met Ana. She's a middle aged woman who has become the mother to so many of the kids here. She has so many stories of God's faithfulness and so much joy in the Lord. As I keep asking people, I keep hearing stories of God working to get people here. I loved it.
On Sunday I felt like God was challenging me to not be afraid. Hence why I had Marisa do this sharpie tattoo on my arm.
That afternoon we went to a waterfall and I jumped from the top. 3 times! For me it was like God was calling me to conquer my fear of jumping off a waterfall so that I could go on to other things. Whether it's talking to the guy sitting next to me on the plane or sharing my heart with a team member from the YWAM Montana team, I want to be obedient to what He's telling me even if I'm scared.
On Monday we helped clear land for a couple that's building an orphanage. Tuesday and Wednesday we helped clear brush from the sides of the road. It made me very thankful for all the guy muscles we have and for such a fun team to do work with.
On Thursday I got to do a devotional for the students here on base. One of YWAM Boquetes ministries is that they have about 9 students that live here on base and go to online school. When I asked God what He wanted me to share with them, I felt like He asked me to remind them (and me) that all He requires of us is that we believe in Him and follow Him. It's as simple as that.
Also on Thursday we spent a few hours praying and asking God to give us a vision of a specific person. After that we asked God what we should tell them. This was a huge stretch for me. I felt weird asking God for something so specific, but He gave me some very specific things and I wrote them down. It was like He was asking me to go out on a limb and trust Him like I trusted Him when I jumped off the waterfall.
We went to downtown Boquete. We looked, but I didn't end up giving the letter to anyone. The only person that I felt like God pointed out to me wasn't like the woman I had felt like God showed me earlier, so I didn't go talk to her. Later I felt so guilty. I wondered if I missed out on what God wanted me to do. After spending time with God I realized a few things. 1. I'm learning. 2. God forgives when I mess up. 3. I can pray that God reaches her with His love. 4. Next time I can follow His leading in the moment.
Friday we got to help out with English class. They pick up kids and take them back to base for 2 hours of songs, learning English, and just loving on them. It's hard to believe how poor these families are. They live in one room and barely have anything. Yet these kids are so adorable and just want to have fun. It was fun to play with them and encourage them as they practice English.
Today we went into David (northern Panama) and facilitated a kids program. We preformed some skits, sang some songs, danced, and gave some short messages for kids.
Day by day I feel the fear becoming less. Day by day He's breaking down my walls letting the beauty that He's been cultivating shine. Day by day I'm growing and loving Him more.
Conquering fear, Rose
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